RR169 Adulting, Being a Grown-up and Arrested Development
I re-watched a TEDx talk by Alan Watkins and was again intrigued by his explanation of levels of awareness and the phrase “Disease of Meaning” A lot of the talk circulates on how we handle situations in our lives as our emotional self develops.
I thought it would be a good subject for today’s episode.
Many of the concepts introduces revolved around emotional intelligence…or in layman’s terms; being a grown up.
So I started searching the internet for the terms arrested development, levels of awareness and disease of meaning to name a few. However, I got no good hits. In fact disease of meaning did not even come up. The term levels of awareness did return quite a few hits but the number of levels varied from 3 to ten or so.
I got hits from the Freud philosophy to blogs that sounded good but were misspelled or used bad grammar.
In short, I was unable to find any sources which I found terribly credible. Sure I got hits on arrested development as it pertains to mental retardation or intellectual disability. But that was not helpful.
So many of us wander around life and look like we are grown up but actually our bodies have grown up…not necessarily our emotional responses.
We might still blame others for our shortcomings. Fail to take responsibility when we screw up. We assign blame to others for “making us” feel a certain way.
This all can be trialed back to thought versus action.
Thoughts are uncontrollable, action is controllable. Even though someone is mean to us or nice to us, it is on our hands on how react to it.
Often we think that the urge to do something should come to us by osmosis. But as
Mel Robbins put it You are never going to feel like it.
This is where that wonderful executive brain function kicks in—if you are past your mid-twenties when the brain is finished growing—you can choose how to respond.
This comes down to impulse control and being able to think. Sometimes this is very hard. Sometimes it is not possible because how we feel. Sometimes we will breeze through a difficult situation because we are feeling particularly well.
Remember being an adult does not mean the fun is over. I think it means that we need to focus on the little spaces which bring us joy. That can be from anything like dancing to a song you hear in the grocery store to reveling in a sunny day.
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